This is the first time I have particpated in sunday scribblings. After putting aside the thesis for awhile I am began to feel my need to write creeping back in. Interestingly enough the prompt this week is baggage, something I was already thinking about this week.
I am the daughter of a young mother, not shockingly young, but young none the less. When my parents divorced I had no choice but to grow up quickly. At eleven I took the weight of the world on my shoulders and let it rest there. I did a good job for many years of shouldering my burden, I took on my own baggage, that of my family, my friends until all that baggage was burying me. Over the past several years I've been attempting to dig myself out of the pile. Shifting the baggage side to side so that I could peer out at the light. Too many days I still feel bombarded by my worries: "will I do okay on my first day of work, how did I get so out of shape, why don't i feel this way or that way, how I can worry about my stupid problems when people are being showered by bombs elsewhere in the world?" I am the queen of the "what ifs", and I am so sick of them. I'm ready to let them vanish into the air but they cling like my dogs' hair on my sweater. These demons seem to move in viciously when I'm left alone like I will be this week. I'm ready to ship my baggage off on a trip without me, maybe somewhere pleasant, a tropical island perhaps. I need some strong enough words to send them packing....any ideas?